I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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