Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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