i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize