whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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