Non-Jews are for practice
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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