i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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