You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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