He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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