don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
