ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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