I'm jealous of your bromance
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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