How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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