she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
