I bet he comes in French.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
