Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
