12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
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screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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