It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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