I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options