I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed