thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
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Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.