dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
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i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
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How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.