My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.