Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
