As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
