don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
