just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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