you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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