literally had 100 drinks last night.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
