with your own penis?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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