Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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