i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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