Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize