summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
