So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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