now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
