I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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