I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
