We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
