covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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