I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
