We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I will pee on everything he values.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
