WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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