You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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