I puked a lego.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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