Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
