it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
