Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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