i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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