Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
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No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
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DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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