It's Friday. Sex?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
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