My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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