Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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