I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
