At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
