Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
