You're my little dorito
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
