That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
