He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This house was built for laser tag.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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