but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
