I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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